Types of Sex

An orgasm is a sexual sensation that feels really good. In the physical sense, an orgasm is a series of muscular contractions that often is accompanied by a pleasurable release of sexual tension. The climax of an orgasm can be followed by a release of fluids (also referred to as ejaculation); this can happen in people of all genders, but is more common for those that have a penis. To describe the act of having an orgasm, people also use the term ‘to come’ or ‘coming’.

Sex can feel really great with or without an orgasm. There may be times where you want to have an orgasm but, for a variety of reasons, it isn’t happening. If you are having trouble, one of the best ways to experience pleasure is to first understand by yourself what feels really good to you, and then share that in an open conversation with your partner(s). Don't forget that everyone should enjoy sex, and choose whether they want orgasms or not.

Intercourse is typically described as the physical act of penis-in-vagina penetrative sex.

If you are thinking about having intercourse, check out 'am I ready for sex?’. There are also alternatives to intercourse if you are not interested or comfortable with intercourse. It is totally up to you to decide if or when you want to have intercourse or not. 

Oral sex is when a person uses their mouth, tongue or lips to stimulate another person’s genitals. Oral sex on a vulva or vagina is called cunnilingus (eating out), on a penis is called fellatio (blow job) and on an anus, anilingus (rimming).

Oral sex is healthy and a great way to give or receive pleasure. However, not everyone is interested in or comfortable with oral sex so it is really important to talk to your partner(s) about your preferences.

STIs can be passed through oral sex. To prevent the transmission of STIs, you can use a condom or a dental dam. You cannot get pregnant from oral sex.

Fingering is when someone uses their fingers to touch someone's clitoris, inside or around someone's vagina, or their anus. Fingering can be done by anyone of any gender or sexual orientation. It can be a very pleasurable activity, and requires trust and communication with your partner(s).

It is not common to pass STIs through fingering, however wearing gloves can reduce the low risk even further.

For more information, check out: Fingering and Fisting

Anal play is any kind of sexual activity involving your butt. Anal play can involve putting your fingers or hand inside someone’s butt (fingering or fisting), putting your mouth or tongue inside or around someone’s butt (rimming) and putting a penis or a sex toy inside someone’s butt (anal sex).

Anal play is any kind of sexual activity involving your butt. Anal play can involve putting your fingers or hand inside someone’s butt (fingering or fisting), putting your mouth or tongue inside or around someone’s butt (rimming) and putting a penis or a sex toy inside someone’s butt (anal sex). 

STIs can be transmitted through anal play, so it is best to protect yourself through condoms (for anal sex), gloves (for fingering and fisting) or dental dams (for rimming).  

Fisting is when someone places multiple fingers or a whole hand inside someone’s vagina or anus. Fisting can be done by anyone of any gender or sexual orientation. When fisting, it can be helpful to take it slow and use a lot of lube; you can start with one finger and work your way up to the whole hand. Remember that it requires trust and communication with your partner(s).

It is possible to pass STIs through fisting, although it is low risk. To protect yourself against STIs, you can wear gloves.   

For more information, check out:
Fingering and Fisting
Fisting

Muffing is the act of pushing someone’s testicles back into the inguinal canals and/or penetrating the canals with a finger or an object. The inguinal canals are the canals where your testicles originally descended, and are situated in your groin, above and behind your testicles and scrotum. Muffing is usually specific to trans women and/or people who were assigned male at birth; it can feel really good, especially when stimulating other areas of your genitals does not turn you on. However, not everyone will be interested in muffing. Just like any other sex act, it comes down to preference and personal choice. When muffing, it can be helpful to start slowly since it can be such a sensitive area; it is important to be patient and build trust and communication with your partner.

Topping and bottoming refer to different ways you can have sex. Generally, topping refers to someone who is more dominant during sexual activity or someone who is giving pleasure, while bottoming refers to someone who is more submissive or receiving pleasure. This is commonly used for sex between two people with penises, but actually can be extended to all genders and sexualities. In the queer community, some people may choose to use this language to describe the type of sex they have. Others may not. It is up to you to decide if you feel comfortable describing the sex you have in this way. It is also important to respect how other people choose to describe the ways that they have sex.

Every kind of sex involves some sort of power. Kink plays with these power dynamics and/or different sensations and fetishes. BDSM stands for Bondage (tying someone up), discipline/domination (when a person yields power over another), submission (when a person submits power) and/or sadism (when a person gets pleasure out of consensually hurting someone else), masochism (when a person gets pleasure out of hurting themselves or being hurt by someone else). It refers to different sexual activities that involve many things such as role play, objects and/or use of pain. Kink and BDSM can be intense and complicated, so it’s usually best explored with someone you really trust and can communicate with. 

When starting out with kink and BDSM, it is really important to first think about how to have safer and consensual sex. This will also involve knowing your boundaries and your limits, which means taking the time to figure them out. Kink and BDSM require more complex consent. Certain acts may involve force or pain (which may be uncomfortable). You should never feel that you are doing something you don’t want to. Every act should be consented to beforehand and/or you can use safe words and you can always change your mind.

Safe words are a clear signal that allow you to communicate with your partner to stop what they are doing. For example, you might say ‘green’ to continue, ‘yellow’ to slow down, and ‘red’ to stop completely. This way, if you change your mind or if you are no longer comfortable, you can stop at any time.

For more information, check out: BDSM & Kink  

Sex work is exchanging goods and resources (including housing) for sex. Sex work is real work; meaning it deserves the respect, safety and benefits that other kinds of work have. In fact, many types of work involve using our bodies like sex work does, like being a masseuse, waiter, dancer or yoga instructor.

There are many different types of sex work. Sex work ranges from escorts, web cam workers, erotic massage workers, phone sex operators, street-based sex work and others. Sex work can exist on a spectrum and each form of sex work is equally valid.

Sex work is seen by many as immoral, bad or harmful. Because of this, parts of sex work have been made illegal. It is up to sex workers to decide if and how they want to engage in sex work, and to what extent. However, if a sex worker is under the age of 18, they come up against even more laws that make their work illegal. There are different reasons why people choose to do sex work and for most people, sex work is a conscious choice; it is up to each individual to decide what they want to do with their own bodies.

Sex workers deserve to have rights and to be respected in their jobs like other workers, and not be treated as criminals or victims. The laws concerning sex work in Canada are currently being challenged, but they restrict where people can do sex work, who they can work with, what they can do with their money, and where they can negotiate their terms. There are organizations that are doing really important work to protect and empower sex workers, and change existing laws.

For more information, check out some of the organizations listed on this handout.